Walking With Angels

The Next Chapter

Many have asked me to continue the blog at least for a little while. Rather than adding to Lillian's blog, I've started a new blog fittingly called "The Next Chapter". The link is http://www.lori-thenextchapter.blogspot.com/. Time will tell whether I can come up with enough to say to justify a blog. For now, you will all get the opportunity to be my therapists as I stumble through the start of the next chapter of my life.

Jeremiah 29:11 "For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

Memorial Service

The service celebrating Lillian's life

will be held at:

Finley-Sunset Hills Mortuary

Saturday, April 7th at 3pm

6801 SW Sunset Highway

Portland, OR 97225

All are welcome.

Our Angel

Last night, Lillian peacefully ended her battle with cancer and joined Jesus in heaven. We miss her terribly, every corner of our house screams out her name. But we are comforted in the knowledge that she is restored to full health in heaven. I picture her with long hair and clear brown eyes running and laughing. Perhaps our Easter miracle is that her pain is over and she can be a happy little kid again.

I am sorry that I cannot call each of you personally to give the news and thank you for your endless encouragement. We are in the process of making service arrangements and I'll post again once those are settled.

In lieu of flowers, we are asking those who would like to contribute to donate to the pediatric oncology account of the Doernbecher Foundation in care of Lillian. Visit http://www.ohsudoernbecher.com/support/gift.asp for details on how to donate. We have met so many wonderful children battling cancer. I can think of no better tribute to Lillian than to provide for these other amazing kids.

God bless you all.

Week of Miracles

Lillian's oncologist dropped by on Monday and said something that has really stuck with me. The pastor at her church told the congregation on Sunday that this is a week of miracles. He asked them to pick 2 or 3 miracles and pray that they would happen this week. She picked Lillian as her #1, 2 and 3 miracle.

We often don't "pray big" and ask for miracles because we're scared to hope or are worried about being disappointed. After all, we don't know what God's plan is. But if this is the week of miracles, I am acting in faith and praying big.

Lillian spiked a fever last night and it's currently not responding to Tylenol. (Yep, even in Intensive Care, Tylenol is the best for a fever.) Her lungs are very sick and her liver is sluggish as well. The doctors have been stumped by Lillian's strange, prolonged illness for weeks. I pray that Lillian would have a miraculous recovery. That her lungs would have no long term damage, that her fever would disappear as suddenly as it appeared and that she would be like a new kid. I pray that this recovery would be so sudden that there would be no other explanation than God's mighty intervention!

I don't know what God's plan is for Lillian. But I'm praying big that He would deliver an Easter miracle for us. Join us in this mighty prayer, won't you?

30 Days

As I read my last post, I was amazed that what was just a week seemed like an eternity ago. By the time I returned to our room after writing the update, the "conventional mode" of ventilation was already failing. That night was one of our worst with the Doctor trying several vent modes as well as switching her on, and later off, of the more aggressive ventilator machine called an oscillator.

The next day we had a care conference with the doctors from oncology and the PICU to discuss the plan. After nearly two hours, we landed on a plan with the least amount of intervention so that her body would have adequate time to respond and heal. A week of sticking to the plan (a record in the medical world) and she is generally unchanged.

After 30 days in the hospital, we are considering setting up utilities and forwarding our mail. The nurses are truly wonderful and make the ups and downs more bearable. We even played a little medical April Fools joke on one of our favorite nurses, Becca, today on her day off. With her help we have also named all of the ventilators after Friends characters. Just something to pass the time and add a little fun. We had "Chandler" but when his circuit started to fail, we decided that he once again needed some time in rehab and recruited "Rachel" to replace him. Rachel's tough, I think with enough time she just may be the one.

I pray that better days are just around the corner. They're managing the daily ups and downs but generally we're all waiting for Lillian to make the final push toward health. Until then, we hold our breath and wait.

Cautiously Optimistic

Lillian is a very sick little girl. Though the weekend was grim, today was a better day. She is mobilizing fluids and can open her eyes once again. On Saturday they were talking about switching her to a more aggressive ventilator but today, just 2 short days later, they've weaned her to a "conventional mode" of ventilation on the same machine. (That's a good thing.) It's hard to allow ourselves to hope again but we have decided to be cautiously optimistic. Since they still don't know what they are treating, there's a fair chance that she could turn the other way again. Apparently this is a fairly common roller coaster for kids in the PICU. For now, we're just so thankful for every precious moment. Please pray that Lillian would continue this positive momentum.